Get Well Soon Finest Coup Maker, The Gallant Fighter - Muckraker

MUCKRAKER joins the entire nation in sending a “get well soon” message to the nation’s Vice-President and our November 2017 liberator, Cde General Constantino Guveya Dominic Nyikadzino Chiwenga.

Then comes a little sarcasm :

Across the country, there is a cloud of concern and worry for his welfare, and churches have been holding all-night vigils to pray that he soon returns to the robust health that saw him execute one of the world’s most finest coups.

It was “the world’s coolest coup”, as David Coltart called it in those days when Chiwenga was “General Bae” and the MDC still hopes of being co-opted on the feeding trough.

Days after President Emmerson Mnangagwa told a Zanu PF meeting that General VP was recovering in a South African hospital, George Charamba, the resident propagandist at Munhumutapa Building, dutifully allowed himself some rare truth-telling to release a statement.

Finally, it is good to see so many countries coming together to help. It is something that this government has failed to do for the country since it came to power.

Then he gets real:

Speaking of hospitals, we wish to congratulate Justice minister Ziyambi Ziyambi for showing admirable patriotism by choosing a local hospital for his own treatment.
It was reported this week that Ziyambi was admitted to hospital, where he was recovering from what we are told is “acute high blood pressure”

Having been told that it was possible to be treated at home, some chefs were tempted to also get sick here at home. That was until they heard the horrific news from their colleague; there was, apparently, no hot water at the hospital, due to these MDC-led power cuts. What shock and horror!

At that point, any plans that the chefs might have had of falling sick in a local hospital, even a prestigious one, were immediately abandoned. We still need our leaders. We can’t have our leaders risking their lives by engaging in dangerous activities like taking cold showers. Who would be left to take care of the country’s loot?

Then comes the surreal part:

It was good to finally put figures to the cost of sanctions on the country. ZBC does not call them “debilitating” for nothing.

He did not, however, give a figure on the cost of Zanu PF mismanagement and looting over the last 40 years or so. One suspects it might be well over US$42 billion.

Neither did he mention that failure to access multi-donor support was because of their failure to repay debts and not due to sanctions

The entire claim that SB Moyo repeated in Parliament is, in fact, lifted from that fanciful manifesto. We all know Zanu PF is out of new ideas. We never knew they could run out of new lies.

Then he goes for the kill and talks about Zanu Pf’s intention to bag Vimbayi Java’s constituency and calls it Ruralfication…

In Glen View South, Zanu PF is on the campaign trail, vainly trying to find people who will buy its lies.

The party’s political commissar, Victor Matemadanda, was over there campaigning this week.

What did he promise? New modern housing, electricity, service delivery, piped water or any other amenities that are standard in any urban setting the world over? No, he promised to dig wells and boreholes to these urban voters.

“Here in Glen View we are going to resuscitate other boreholes which have broken down and drill new ones in strategic points to address the water situation in this area.

So, in short, Zanu PF’s promise to urban voters is to turn urban areas into rural areas. This is no big surprise.

As a party, Zanu PF has no message for urban youths. All they know is the old tried and tested strategy of keeping people as poor as possible, then throwing crumbs to make themselves look good.

Zanu PF denies rural voters the right to clean, piped water, then forces them to sing and dance for boreholes.

It’s a strategy that has worked in rural areas, and now Zanu PF is trying to replicate it in towns.

We might as well get rid of mayors in the cities, and appoint chiefs and headmen.

Muckraker then commends on the accusation by Zanu Pf that the MDC wants to start violence:

Zanu PF this week denounced the MDC for trying to use violence to get its way.In short, SK Moyo was angry because the MDC is trying to steal Zanu PF tactics. We understand his anger.

We all know violence and destruction are patented methods of political campaigning for Zanu PF, and it is only natural that they should be angry should another party try to break their monopoly on violence

More: The Independent